Monday, July 20, 2009
An open letter to Amazon
Dear Amazon,
I'm trying to be a really good customer. It's perplexing that you are making it so hard for me.
I've been buying books online from you since the late 90s. As you've grown, I've ordered a wider selection of items, too - most famously, my first DVD player. (I'd ordered a book and hadn't quite spent enough to qualify for free shipping, so on a whim, I decided to buy the DVD player from you. Some way to qualify for free shipping!) Although I'm still to order the George Foreman Grill, I've even resold my near-pristine paperbacks via your site.
But why do you make it so hard for me to be a customer at all? Don't you want the few hundred dollars that I spend with you each year? If you'd rather that we parted company, just say the word and I'll try and live without you.
What's pushed me over the edge this time? Well, let's talk about two things. The first is an itty-bitty little service where, for a "small charge" you allow me to resell the pulp fiction that I bought and devoured. Then you advise me that a "market" price would be around $2 for a book, and then you charge me MORE than that in commission. So I make a loss on the sale.
Shurely shome mishtake.
Actually I made a measly $0.10 or so on the postage, and my bookshelf looks a lot better having been denuded (I bought two hardback Feng Shui books last year from you last year, remember? (Want to buy 'em back for a good price? See "Simon's Shop" on your Amazon.com site if you can ever find it. Go on, I challenge you. Believe me, it's well-hidden.))
The second, and more heinous crime, is how you've treated me with regard to the Kindle. Yes, your own, in-house, greener-than-paper, must-have yuppie tech-nerd device. That's me... so I'm delighted to have one. But after a solid 72 hours' ownership I'm wondering if I can hack the darned thing and install a lite version of Linux - because you're making it hard for me to love the Kindle for what it is.
Mine arrived last Friday, July 17th 2009, which will probably be a day of mourning in fture for Amazon. For this was the day that you chose to remotely delete readers' copies of a couple of George Orwell titles. That was rather unfortunate ... of course my Kindle was easy to name, and was Christened as Winston.
Winston came to me as a gift. I'd never have dared be as doubleplus ungood as to even think about trying to order one on your website. As you know, I don't live in the US. So how dare I even dream about owning one...
Once Winston arrived, then as you know from the built-in GPS and wireless, I wasn't in the continental US when I fired him up. He's probably already on a watch list of some kind for not "appearing" on Whispernet within a few days of shipping. From here, there's no chance of registering ... and the "experimental" web browser (yes, the "experimental" monochrome text-only web browser? Are we in 1984 or something?) won't work on any of the four wireless phone networks available in my home country.
Ah well, at least USB is Universal. That's what it stands for, Universal Serial Bus, geddit? Kudos to you for at least enabling Winston to talk to my home PC (he runs Windows 7, in English language, probably a good thing it's not set to Norwegian or something). I plugged him in and Winnie showed up immediately as a network drive. Great. Next step, order some up-to-date content and drop or download content straight on to the Kindle ...
Like yeah, right. You guys thought of that one, eh? Aren't you so clever!
It ain't working. I'm not in the US and you know it. So I cannot buy content. And without access to the latest ebooks, I'm stuck in a timewarp that makes 1984 look futuristic. There are some great novels out there available for free download, but I doubt that many were written this century, let alone the 20th. If I want to read vintage Arthur Conan Doyle or James Joyce, then 100 local bookshops (and probably your website too) can offer me numerous editions for less than the commission Amazon takes on my second-hand book sales. The Karma Sutra is available for free e-book downloading ... but with a greyscale screen and no backlight???
No, the point is that I want to read contemporary fiction. Stuff that's firmly within copyright and probably published within the last 5 years. Unfortunately, due to "geographical restrictions" I'm unable to download even free books from Amazon.com. It doesn't matter if I enter a US shipping address, and apply a US $ credit to my Amazon.com account, it's not enough to convince you, Amazon, that I should be giving you my hard-earned greenbacks.
In my previous post I linked to a blog with some work-arounds. There's actually an easier way to get content on your Kindle if you live outside the US. All you need is a partner in crime who has a US-issued credit card.
Step 1: Ask that person to register your Kindle to their account.
Step 2: Ask them to buy Kindle content.
Step 3: They download the newly-purchased content.
Step 4: They send said content to you via email or FTP server or CD or pigeon post or whatever.
Step 5: You send the person with a US credit card an Amazon voucher to cover their costs and a little bit more for their efforts. This is Step 1 if you are a shyster.
Step 6: You download the .azw files directly into your (their) Kindle.
Step 7: You read the files as Kindle books ... just as you would if you were within the borders of the US.
What a bunch of buggering around.
Next time I actually fly to the US - if I bother to take Winston along for the ride - then he's in for a delight. If you've ever seen the movie The Matrix, think of the scene where Neo is getting a download of stuff like kick-boxing. No doubt Winston will writhe in my hands.
The thing is, I know you're right according the letter of the law. I know you'd love to sell me content directly, if only the licensing laws allowed.
However, it's the way you've implemented your super-strict sales restrictions that gets me. Even with a US billing address, IP address and a pre-paid gift card, you still refused my money. Whatever next? Maybe American companies will stop selling arms to Middle Eastern juntas because their credit cards ain't issued by a US bank?
I'm trying to be a really good customer. It's perplexing that you are making it so hard for me.
I've been buying books online from you since the late 90s. As you've grown, I've ordered a wider selection of items, too - most famously, my first DVD player. (I'd ordered a book and hadn't quite spent enough to qualify for free shipping, so on a whim, I decided to buy the DVD player from you. Some way to qualify for free shipping!) Although I'm still to order the George Foreman Grill, I've even resold my near-pristine paperbacks via your site.
But why do you make it so hard for me to be a customer at all? Don't you want the few hundred dollars that I spend with you each year? If you'd rather that we parted company, just say the word and I'll try and live without you.
What's pushed me over the edge this time? Well, let's talk about two things. The first is an itty-bitty little service where, for a "small charge" you allow me to resell the pulp fiction that I bought and devoured. Then you advise me that a "market" price would be around $2 for a book, and then you charge me MORE than that in commission. So I make a loss on the sale.
Shurely shome mishtake.
Actually I made a measly $0.10 or so on the postage, and my bookshelf looks a lot better having been denuded (I bought two hardback Feng Shui books last year from you last year, remember? (Want to buy 'em back for a good price? See "Simon's Shop" on your Amazon.com site if you can ever find it. Go on, I challenge you. Believe me, it's well-hidden.))
The second, and more heinous crime, is how you've treated me with regard to the Kindle. Yes, your own, in-house, greener-than-paper, must-have yuppie tech-nerd device. That's me... so I'm delighted to have one. But after a solid 72 hours' ownership I'm wondering if I can hack the darned thing and install a lite version of Linux - because you're making it hard for me to love the Kindle for what it is.
Mine arrived last Friday, July 17th 2009, which will probably be a day of mourning in fture for Amazon. For this was the day that you chose to remotely delete readers' copies of a couple of George Orwell titles. That was rather unfortunate ... of course my Kindle was easy to name, and was Christened as Winston.
Winston came to me as a gift. I'd never have dared be as doubleplus ungood as to even think about trying to order one on your website. As you know, I don't live in the US. So how dare I even dream about owning one...
Once Winston arrived, then as you know from the built-in GPS and wireless, I wasn't in the continental US when I fired him up. He's probably already on a watch list of some kind for not "appearing" on Whispernet within a few days of shipping. From here, there's no chance of registering ... and the "experimental" web browser (yes, the "experimental" monochrome text-only web browser? Are we in 1984 or something?) won't work on any of the four wireless phone networks available in my home country.
Ah well, at least USB is Universal. That's what it stands for, Universal Serial Bus, geddit? Kudos to you for at least enabling Winston to talk to my home PC (he runs Windows 7, in English language, probably a good thing it's not set to Norwegian or something). I plugged him in and Winnie showed up immediately as a network drive. Great. Next step, order some up-to-date content and drop or download content straight on to the Kindle ...
Like yeah, right. You guys thought of that one, eh? Aren't you so clever!
It ain't working. I'm not in the US and you know it. So I cannot buy content. And without access to the latest ebooks, I'm stuck in a timewarp that makes 1984 look futuristic. There are some great novels out there available for free download, but I doubt that many were written this century, let alone the 20th. If I want to read vintage Arthur Conan Doyle or James Joyce, then 100 local bookshops (and probably your website too) can offer me numerous editions for less than the commission Amazon takes on my second-hand book sales. The Karma Sutra is available for free e-book downloading ... but with a greyscale screen and no backlight???
No, the point is that I want to read contemporary fiction. Stuff that's firmly within copyright and probably published within the last 5 years. Unfortunately, due to "geographical restrictions" I'm unable to download even free books from Amazon.com. It doesn't matter if I enter a US shipping address, and apply a US $ credit to my Amazon.com account, it's not enough to convince you, Amazon, that I should be giving you my hard-earned greenbacks.
In my previous post I linked to a blog with some work-arounds. There's actually an easier way to get content on your Kindle if you live outside the US. All you need is a partner in crime who has a US-issued credit card.
Step 1: Ask that person to register your Kindle to their account.
Step 2: Ask them to buy Kindle content.
Step 3: They download the newly-purchased content.
Step 4: They send said content to you via email or FTP server or CD or pigeon post or whatever.
Step 5: You send the person with a US credit card an Amazon voucher to cover their costs and a little bit more for their efforts. This is Step 1 if you are a shyster.
Step 6: You download the .azw files directly into your (their) Kindle.
Step 7: You read the files as Kindle books ... just as you would if you were within the borders of the US.
What a bunch of buggering around.
Next time I actually fly to the US - if I bother to take Winston along for the ride - then he's in for a delight. If you've ever seen the movie The Matrix, think of the scene where Neo is getting a download of stuff like kick-boxing. No doubt Winston will writhe in my hands.
The thing is, I know you're right according the letter of the law. I know you'd love to sell me content directly, if only the licensing laws allowed.
However, it's the way you've implemented your super-strict sales restrictions that gets me. Even with a US billing address, IP address and a pre-paid gift card, you still refused my money. Whatever next? Maybe American companies will stop selling arms to Middle Eastern juntas because their credit cards ain't issued by a US bank?
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